Quote of the Day

Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never forget that if there weren't any need for you in all your uniqueness to be on this earth, you wouldn't be here in the first place. And never forget, no matter how overwhelming life's challenges and problems seem to be, that one person can make a difference in the world. In fact, it is always because of one person that all the changes that matter in the world come about. So be that one person.

-Richard Buckminster Fuller

Yahoo

Well, Yahoo sent me a new password to my email that was hacked. Ive decided to get my contacts out of it and to just use my new email address from here on out. Im anxious to see if whomever changed my password also deleted my emails, etc. I dont see why they hacked it if they didnt go through my stuff. I guess Ill find out when I get home today and check it. Until next time...

EMAIL

Today my email was hacked! Someone got into it and changed my information and password, therefore I cant even reset the password. I made a new one though, but Im still mad because I lost all my contacts. I really think it was Clarissa. I dont know who else would want to do such a thing to me. She has been acting completely crazy for the past 2 weeks...telling people pointless crap about me...it just all makes sense that she would be the one to do it. Oh well though, if she is that pathetic then whatever. I wouldnt do that to someone though...Ive had that email since I was like 10 or something. That just really runs all over me. Well Im off to bed...gotta get rested up for my big activity tomorrow. Until next time...

The Weekend

So Friday night I stayed home and did nothing. Well Saturday Chelsey comes over when she gets off work and informs me that Kelly, Corey, Calvin, and the guy that I rode with on Thursday all went down to Nashville on Friday. Sometime while they were all together they stopped to eat at Taco Bell and Corey, out of the freaking blue, whips out his cell phone and reads all of the text messages that I had sent him! He had no idea that the guy I had been hanging out with the night before was sitting at the table with him! When Chelsey told me I about died! I called him and went off. I cant believe that he would have that little respect for me...to violate my privacy and read the messages that I had sent him that were meant to be private. What a loser! Im sure the three guys he was with thought that he was being a total butt when he started reading those messages. And from what I understand nothing was even said about me to bring it up...he just brought it up. Why is he always so concerned with who I am dating also? After I called him and went off, he called both Calvin and Kelly...wanting to know who it was that I was suppose to go on a date with. I just cant understand him. But anyways, last night I said my final goodbye to him. I am finished. I am no longer answering his text messages or listening to his BS when he texts me and questions the people I am talking too supposably. I cant handle it and I wont allow him to toy with my emotions. I have too much stress in my life already. Oh and another thing...well I probably shouldnt have done this but I did and oh well...it didnt hurt anything but I checked Corey's email. Well Clarissa knew that I had done this before and I think she told Corey because he started going off about that on the phone. Then I also found out that Clarissa had mentioned the same exact guys to another one of our friends that Corey had accused me of talking to one day last week...hmmm...coincidence or not? NOT! I dont know if she gave him my passwords or what but I know she told him for sure. I cant believe she was stoop that low. I know for a fact that she went on a date with a married man and I havent called that girl to let her know, have I? No, I havent...but she is barking up the wrong tree if she doesnt think I will because I am really close to going off and telling Mrs. KELLIE PEARSON that Clarissa was at the movies with her husband on SEPTEMBER 5TH!!! I let our friendship go...if she didnt want to be my friend that was fine but there was no need in her going off and telling stuff about me...especially the stuff she knew nothing about. WHAT A FREAKING PATHETIC LOSER! HOW CAN YOU BE SOMEONE'S BFF FOR ALMOST 10 YEARS AND DO THAT IMMATURE CRAP? AND SHE HAD THE NERVE TO CALL ME IMMATURE! UGGGHHH! Well enough of that, I feel somewhat better now. Its time for bed...long week ahead of me. Until next time...

Quote of the Day

"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything."
-Muhammad Ali

The Ride

Yesterday I rode this "new guys" motorcycle...and well I discovered I wasnt into him. I just didnt feel any sort of connection and I believe, with all my heart, that when you like someone in that type of way that there is a connection or a spark as some might want to call it. I mean, I did enjoy riding the bike but I think I would have been just as satisfied riding with someone else. He was really nice just not my type. I just cant seem to get Corey out of my head. Ugh! It drives me nuts. Oh well, maybe its just best if I am alone for awhile then maybe I will find that special someone that I am meant to be with. Good things come to those who wait....or so that is what I hear. Until next time...

ATTITUDE

THE LONGER I LIVE, THE MORE I REALIZE THE IMPACT OF ATTITUDE ON LIFE. ATTITUDE, TO ME, IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTS. IT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE PAST, THAN EDUCATION, THAN MONEY, THAN CIRCUMSTANCES, THAN FAILURES, THAN SUCCESSES, THAN WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OR SAY OR DO. IT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN APPEARANCE, GIFTEDNESS OR SKILL. IT WILL MAKE OR BREAK A COMPANY...A CHURCH...A HOME. THE REMARKABLE THING IS WE HAVE A CHOICE EVERY DAY REGARDING THE ATTITUDE WE WILL EMBRACE FOR THAT DAY. WE CANNOT CHANGE OUR PAST...WE CANNOT CHANGE THE FACT THAT PEOPLE WILL ACT IN A CERTAIN WAY. WE CANNOT CHANGE THE INEVITABLE. THE ONLY THING WE CAN DO IS PLAY ON THE SAME STRING WE HAVE, AND THAT IS OUR ATTITUDE...I AM CONVINCED THAT LIFE IS 10% WHAT HAPPENS TO ME AND 90% HOW I REACT TO IT. AND SO IT IS WITH YOU...WE ARE IN CHARGE OF OUR ATTITUDES.

Quote of the Day

"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself."
-Benjamin Franklin

ToDaY

Today is officially the slowest day ever. I feel horrible and I am so ready to go home but time is dragging by for some reason. I need to go get my oil changed today which I dread doing. I hate waiting. Then I am suppose to ride with the new "him". I just hope that I feel better by then otherwise I may need to rest before the girls get home. I guess Ill just wait it out and see how I feel. Well, Until next time...

Him

I think my ex has been getting into my myspace...and yes I think Clarissa is the one that gave him my information. He sent me a lovely little text message last night listing all these guys that I am supposably seeing and Im not seeing any of them. I mean, one of them as texted me lately but that is all that has amounted too. I mean, why is it any of his business anyways? Who does he think he is? I told him he needed to worry about his own gf and stop worrying about me. Im so glad Clarissa felt it was necessary to fill him in on what is going on in my life...she is fixing to open a can of worms she cant even imagine. If she doesnt stop Im going to call the wife of this guy that she went on a date with a couple weekends ago...I bet she wouldnt like that would she? She told me she had more stuff on me than I had on her...what in the world is she talking about? My life is not very exciting. I go out to eat with Chelsey and Kelly about once a weekend. WOW, is that a crime? She is dumb. She kept saying I talk about my friends behind their back yet she couldnt give me one example! I told that was because she didnt know what she was talking about. If I have something to say I will say it to their face. I dont bottle it up like her and then through a friendship away after 10 years! Well I have to go get ready for class. Until next time...

Quote of the Day

Reveal not every secret you have to a friend, for how can you tell but that friend may hereafter become an enemy. And bring not all mischief you are able to upon an enemy, for he may one day become your friend.

-Saadi

COUNTDOWN

80 days till graduation! WOOHOO!

Friends

I just wanted to take a minute and thank all of my good friends for being such great friends. The true friends that I do have are absolutely wonderful especially those that I can go a week or so without talking to because we are so busy and when I go get a chance to give them a call, they pick up the conversation like we hadnt missed a beat...those are the best friends you could ask for. All of this drama lately has really made me appreciate my true friends. I love you guys and I appreciate all those times that you have been there for me when things have gotten rough. If you ever need anyhing Im here for you all and I do care regardless of what some may think. Until next time...

The Call

So crazy insane ex-best friend of mine called me this morning to go off on me. I just wish she would go on and get a life. I have nothing to say to her. I am finished. There is no way I could ever be friends with her again after she has acted the way she has. One day she is going to realize that I was a good friend to her...I have been there for her through her fathers death...her divorce and now look at the thanks I get. NONE! I get called all sorts of names and talked about like a dog through text messaging. How mature is she? And she had the nerve to call me immature. Wow some people amaze me. I just hate it for our friends because they will sorta be caught in the middle of this mess and I dont want to jeopardize anymore friendships. I guess if they chose to not be one of our friends because of this then I will know who my true friends are. Anyways...I may have a date this weekend. Yah! Until next time...

Drama Free

Just wanted to give you an update and let you know that today was completely drama free aside from the text messages that were on my phone from last night when I got up this morning. I am really surprised my psycho ex-best friend did not harass me anymore today and let me know even more how crappy of a person and friend I am but she did not...thank goodness.Oh, and on a more optimistic note, I may have a date this weekend! Nothing is official yet but it is in the works so I am super excited. Someone new...older...and hopefully more mature than my last two boyfriends. I mean, I know I still miss my recent ex but I cant wait around for him to grow up forever and decide that he is ready for serious relationship. I talked to him last night on facebook messenger and he was telling me how he didnt want to get close to anyone right now...but my question is why is he talking to that high school girl? I feel kind of sorry for her because she has no idea that he feels that way I am sure. Then the weird-o calls me today to let me know he got a Busa. He actually wanted to know if I had talked to Calvin or seen him around knowing that I had not because I dont go anywhere...I honestly think he just wanted me to know he got a Busa but whatever. I asked him when I was going to get to go for a ride and he said "we'll see." Ha! Whatever though...its time to stop worrying about the past and start focusing on the future. As much as we wish we could sometimes we cant go back and change the past. But we can, however, make the future the best that it can be. Ive got some good true friends, a great family, and beautiful, smart, perfect baby girls. What more do I need? And for that one select ex-best friend- I dont have to have somebody to be happy but I sure wont sit around and dwell on the past like some chose too. Well its time to get a good nights sleep after my crazy night last night. Im off to bed then a long day tomorrow as usual. Only 80 more days till graduation! Woo hoo! Until next time...

Friend or Foe?

Well I discovered something very interesting last night...APPARENTLY IT IS NOT OKAY TO CARE ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS! Yes, that is right. If you care then your just being nosey and your friends then decide they dont want to be your friends. Im just going to come out and say who Im talking about...Clarissa. She had been staying over at my house a lot recently and then all of a sudden she didnt come over for like 5 days which was really strange...but then I was just thinking that maybe she had a lot of homework, etc so she was staying at home getting all of that taken care of. I know personally that I dont like to stay away home so maybe she was just ready to be at home. Well she calls me Friday afternoon on her way home from work and I ask her to stop by. I already had plans to go out to eat with some friends but I figured she may stop by and end up going with us. Well as soon as she walks through the door her cell phone rings and she answers it and goes outside to talk. As soon as that happened I knew exactly who it was because every time her ex calls she always goes outside which isnt a big deal. I could honestly care less about what they are discussing. Well I go out there to tell her something and I could see she was crying so I went back inside to do my own thing. Then my friends show up that I was going out to eat with and I honestly did not know what to do...but to be honest I was ready to go out and have some fun after the long week I had. I knew for sure that my friends did not want to wait around and listen to her all upset because that can really bring down your spirits for sure and I knew I couldnt talk to her about it because I have nothing but negative things to say about her ex and her situation because he is a total jerk. So I opened the backdoor and told her that we were leaving and I asked her if she needed anything out of the house before I locked up and she said no...so I left. Yea that may not have been the best thing to do but she doesnt ever talk to me about her ex because she knows how I feel. What was I suppose to do...sit inside and do nothing while she was outside on the phone? As soon as we left I called my other friend and asked her to check on her because she talks to her about everything.Well I didnt think much of it that night and went about my own thing. Well the next day she never would text me back so I figured she was mad because I ran off and left her on Friday. Saturday I went to hang out with some friends and on our way back I drove by Clarissa's ex's old womans house which is right up the street from me and guess what? He was there with his 41 year old girlfriend. What blows it all is that my other friend had told me that Clarissa and him were working it out so I was thinking "that sure doesnt look like he is trying to work it out." So my friend and I both try calling her and texting her and of course she wont answer because I felt like she needed to know he was there. Well she never called me back and never texted me back of course. So all day Sunday I do not hear from her...and then all day Monday even when I sent her a text right after seeing her. Finally last night I sent her a text asking why she was ignoring me and she goes completely insane. She tells me exactly what she thinks of me and has apparently thought about me for years. Goes to show who your true friends are I guess. I could not believe some of the mean and heartless stuff that she said to me. I told her to stay away from me and I deleted her number from my phone. I just cant believe she would go that crazy for nothing...and she had the nerve to say that I wasnt worried about her...then why did I call her all freaking weekend? It makes no sense. I am just amazed at how she can throw almost 10 years worth of friendship out the window. I guess she will just have to learn things the hard way. I know I was stupid for staying with my ex...I just hope that she is smarter than I was before she ends up in a bad situation. Oh well though, at least now I dont have to worry about it because according to her I am a bad friend and a bad person. Until next time...

One Thing I Forgot

I totally forgot to complain about one thing that really urked me today! As I was unpacking the girls' bag once they got home from their "so-called dad's" house I noticed that he did not send back their blue jean shorts which they wear A LOT! Anyways so I call him so tell him he forgot them and he tells me "oh I thought they were mine...so I kept them." Oh my gosh did that make me mad. I was like "they are not your shorts...they are not mine...they are theirs!" I am so sick of him saying things are either mine or his...they are the girls' things. One day he is going to realize he is a freaking idiot but who knows when that will happen. Im sure it wont be before they figure it out on their own. I mean...who does he think he is? He is only worried about himself. Then he goes on to say that I dont care about them as much as he does...bc I dont let him see them more. Well excuse me that he makes his momma do everything for him. I wont give him any extra time as long as she is doing his dirty work. Screw that. I am sick of it and I am not going to give an inch. NO MORE! I have been nice long enough and now that is out the window. Then he goes even further as to say that I accused some guy of something that I have no idea about. I dont want to put it on here for the whole world to see because then I would just be starting a rumor about myself and that would be stupid. So then I ask him if my ex-boyfriend had anything to do with this and he continues to talk smack about him. So I call my ex and let him know exactly what was said...lets just say I have a good feeling he is going to put a stop to the mouth running for sure...or at least I hope so. He wasnt too happy and he asked for his phone number so I am hoping he does something about it. He couldnt say anything about him when we were together and now that we are broken up he runs his mouth...what is up with that? I guess that goes to show that he was definitely scared of my ex when we were a couple otherwise he wouldnt have kept his mouth shut. Some people just drive me crazy. I honestly think there are those people that you can just never associate with or get along with. I try to be nice, I really do but it just doesnt work with those people. There is no way that I can ever forgive any of them for what they have done or allowed others to do to me. Its sad to say but I think things will always be chaotic between us all. Until next time..

Weekend

So my weekend was absolutely fabulous...I spent it having fun with good friends. And did I mention...great food lol. There was on downfall to my weekend though and that is because my BFF has ignored my calls and my text messages all weekend. Friday afternoon she came by my house and as soon as she walked through the door she got a phone call and went on my backporch. Well I went out there and she was crying so I came back in. Then my friends got here that I was going to BG with so I went outside and told her that I was leaving. I know I probably shouldnt have left her here crying but she was crying because of her ex-husband the one that she wants to work it out with but he told her just a week ago that he was in love with his 41 year old girlfriend! I just cant stand that she gets herself so upset over him when he is such a prick! I cant talk to her about it because she doesnt want to hear what I have to say about him. Im afraid that he is going to come between us as friends when I am the one that is always there...he just uses her and upsets her and then goes about his way as usual. Last night he was at his 41 year old girlfriends house...go figure and of course she wouldnt answer when I tried to call and tell her. She hasnt even returned my calls or anything. I just dont know what to do. I guess Ill just give her space and maybe she will come around and figure out she doesnt need him because I know he will just hurt her again. He cant be trusted...he is just like my ex. No wonder they are friends. When it comes down to it I think I just need to stop worrying so much about other people...its just my nature though. I cant help it. I worry about all the people I care about and sometimes I get to involved in other people's problems. Ive been trying to not worry so much. Ive been doing better about not worrying about the one I miss so dearly. Its hard to believe that we have only been broken up for like 3 weeks. It seems like so much longer than that. I guess I just keep holding onto the idea that maybe, just maybe we will work it out and get back together. I guess only time will tell but until then I am going to keep on keepin' on. I would love for us to get back together but I cant force that to happen. Ive got enough things to worry about right now as it is so Im just going to let things happen. Until next time...

~Quote of the Day~

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

-Robert Frost

Friday

Today I am at WKU all day for my EDU 489 class ...not very exciting I know. Oh well though, it gives me a break from the kiddos. This weekend they go to their "so-called fathers" house for the weekend. I hate that they have to go there but I am definitely going to enjoy my weekend. I have no idea what I will do but I am sure it will be something fun and exciting. I am going to try to get up in time to go get a haircut tomorrow because I am in desperate need of one. Maybe I can get a few things done for school this weekend also. Well it is almost time for class to start...Until next time.

I love this!

I want...
*someone who loves kids.*someone who likes it when I'm sweet.*someone that will aggravate me on a daily basis.*someone that thinks it's cute when I try to be independent.*someone that texts me to tell me they miss me & mean it.*someone that loves the little things I do for them.*someone that loves my family.*someone that doesn't mind a t-shirt night. :)*someone that loves to smile & laugh as much as I do.*someone that doesn't take me too seriously.*someone that sees the glass as half full.*someone that's happy.*someone that cares about me & doesn't have an alterior motive.*someone that will stand up for me.*someone that doesn't lie!*someone that doesn't mind if I go shopping.*someone that likes getting away every now & then.*someone that will go with me on a road trip.*someone that will hold my hand.*someone that will kiss my forehead.*someone that cares about people.*someone that loves my friends (because they're so good to me!)*someone that understands I've made a few mistakes in my past but I've regretted all of them.*someone that forgives.*someone that will hear my side of the story once in a while.*someone that enjoys late night Wal-mart trips.*someone that will take silly pictures with me.*someone that will trust me & believe that I want nothing but the BEST for them.*someone that wants a future.*someone that isn't still hung up on their ex.*someone that believes hard work is the only right way to get something.*someone that knows money isn't everything & happiness is.*someone that goes above & beyond for the people he loves.*someone to make memories with so we can tell our grandkids one day.*someone that loves me for me... No matter how silly, stubborn, crazy, or mean I am.*someone that cherishes life for the little moments.*someone that will be my truest friend.*someone to help me create my happy-ever-after.

sleep

Yes! I got some sleep last night....thank goodness. It took awhile to get them to fall asleep but once they did it was peace and quiet. I got to curl up in my bed all night long without sharing it with anyone else! Just wanted to brag about my good night of sleep...I wont know what to do with myself this weekend when I get to sleep in. Well its time to get my day started, until next time...

LaSt NiGhT

Wow! What a night?! I dont know what was up with the girls but I definitely think they may have not been feeling well. Zoie threw up like 3 times...which means, yes...3 sets of bed sheets on a baby bed and if you have kids you know how big of a pain changing those sheets can be. Plus she got it in the floor so at 930 last night I was dragging the vaccum out and scrubbing the floor on my hands and knees. Not too much fun thats for sure. Then they starting pooping. I think one did it twice and the other one once...or maybe both twice...I cant even remember...I just know its unusual for them to do that after they go to bed so that is the one thing that made me think they didnt feel good. Zoie has figured out how to throw up if she gets mad I believe so Im not sure about anything really! So I called my grandma to ask her to come get them this morning incase I had a rough night and of course she said yes. I made us three a big pallet on the living room floor and as soon as I got all of that situated they went right to sleep beside me. It was not very comfortable but at least it was sleep plus they slept through my shower and blowing my hair this morning which is always a plus because when they are awake they want to mess with everything in the bathroom that they are not suppose to touch of course. I feel like I need a 3 day vacation after last night. SHHHHEWWW. I am so sleepy. Today is going to be a good day though...they girls woke up in fantastic moods...I got the house picked up before I left and I got some delicious cappacino at Minit Mart this morning. I am excited because today they are doing their campaign speeches for student council. Im excited to hear them all, I just hope the activity I have planned for today goes over well. Im sure Ill write more later, I gotta get ready for the day though. Until next time...

Things I am Grateful for today!

Here are a few things that I am grateful for today...

1. Healthy, beautiful daughters

2. A good day at school

3. A few hours of silence and relaxation

4. Great family

5. A great life!

It's time to start being a little more optimistic!

ToDaY

Today I found out when my appointment is to find out about the loan...beginning of October which is great...but then some bad news. It could take between 4 and 6 months to get it all taken care of which sucks. Looks like we will be spending Christmas in our little apartment but I guess that is okay as long as we are together and happy. Oh and then to beat it all...I discovered, not for the first time, but I did discover that all men are PIGS! Are there any normal guys out there?? HELLO. How is a guy going to call me and text me then call my BEST FRIEND and ask her to hook him up with her aunt?! Ughh, stupid people. Good thing I found out what kind of person he is now. Not saying that the text messaging was going to amount to anything but still...its better to know now than later. Ive decided that I need to find a man that is established. Well actually my friend's husband told me I should do that lol but I do think it is a great idea. Im tired of messing with these guys that are young and dumb. Well I mean, my ex was established professionally but mentally and emotionally I would have to say that he will NEVER EVER be established. Oh well though. Maybe I should stop worrying about it so much and then maybe, just maybe my prince charming will find me. I just dont know where I would even meet somebody. I mean if I meet them at a bar then what does that say lol? Well...enough of that. Well this afternoon has been quite boring...nothing to do whatsoever except wash my car and eat. Go figure. I was going to go to the Y but I just didnt feel like it. I wanted to be lazy but now that I have accomplished that I feel like I should have done something productive. I cant believe tomorrow is already Wednesday. This week is going by so fast. I am excited that I dont have to go to school tomorrow but it does suck I have to go to WKU bc I know I will be there all day. Hopefully Sam will ride with me so Im not lonely, guess I need to call her and ask her if she decided what she plans to do Friday. Well guess Im going to go back to my recliner. Until next time...

Loan :(

I just found out that I probably wont find anything out about that loan until October. As soon as I get all the necessary paperwork together we have to make an appointment somewhere in BG and then Im sure there will be more waiting after the appointment. That really stinks but oh well. I have to do what I have to do I guess. So now I get to run errands and collect more papers for this loan after school...fun fun. Im sure it will all be worth it in the end, its just a headache now. I wish my ex would not have messed up my credit. What a mistake I made!?! Well Im just taking a break from planning...guess I better get busy so I dont have to stay after tomorrow which I am sure I will do anyway since I have 50 plus binders to grade! UGHHH!!! Well until next time...

Quote of the Day

Many people hold onto a grudge because it offers the illusion of power and a perverse feeling of security. But in fact, we are held hostage by our anger. It is never too late to forgive. But you can forgive too soon. I am especially wary of what I call "saintly forgiveness." Premature forgiveness is common among people who avoid conflict. They're afraid of their own anger and the anger of others. But their forgiveness is false. Their anger goes underground. I define forgiving as letting someone back into your heart. This returns us to a loving state -- and not merely within the relationship -- we feel good about ourselves and the world. True forgiveness isn't easy, but it transforms us significantly. To forgive is to love and to feel worthy of love. In that sense, it is always worthwhile.

-Robert Karen

Lonely

As I sit here all alone I cant help but feel lonely. I was busy busy busy until the girls went to bed and now I find myself longing for someone to cuddle up with on the couch...someone to talk to. I hate feeling like this. I dont want to "want" somebody. Why cant I just be satisfied being alone? My life is good...I have two beautiful girls, a nice place to live, the semester is going good, and my money situation is good...I cant understand why that cant ever be enough for me? A lot of people stay single for long periods of time and they seem completely normal. Maybe I need to "find" myself or whatever it is you hear people saying on soap operas. LOL. I just dont know. I want to be content with my life...to not feel like I always need somebody. Im so tired of getting into crappy relationships. Why cant I just find a normal guy?!? Ughhh. Anyways. Let me talk about something that isnt so negative for just a second. Saturday night was a blast. I got to spend it with the "gang". We went out to eat and then ran around for a little bit. Nothing too exciting but it was fun. Its always an interesting time when we are all together. I just hope this week goes as well as last week. I hate it that me and my ex had to end things on bad terms. I know that is a little off subject but I just cant help thinking about it. But then I think to myself, "why should I be the one that is so concerned?" He turned into a butthole and I dont owe him anything. I honestly dont think I messed anything up. I was the same person I was when we first met so what did he expect? I think he was scared and ready to live the college life. He just wanted to pin it on me...making me look like the bad guy and Ive got news for him, that is not going to happen! I am sick of guys trying to make me look like Im the bad guy. I am a good girlfriend. I am honest, sweet, caring...its his lose! Ive got to get that through my thick head and stop feeling like I did something wrong. If he really liked his new gf he wouldnt have been trying to keep her a secret...thats all I got to say. Oh well though, he will hurt her just like he hurt me. I mean, I did hear that voicemail the other day...so obviously he has already started his college crap as I like to call it , Well I guess that is enough of my complaining. Maybe tomorrow I can be a little more optimistic, but until then Im going to keep telling myself that I deserve a good man...bc I am a good person, bc its the truth and I am just having trouble getting that through my head! Until next time...

Unbelievable

WOW! I guess he couldn't keep his new "boo" a secret very long...considering he went to McDonalds where my freaking sister works with her! Ugh! It makes me so sick. I think it bothers me most because he left me, a 23 year old, for a high school girl! He wanted to live the college life, what the heck is he doing with a high schooler? Then to beat it all, I had no idea the girl worked at Sonic...had never seen the girl in my life...and she brings my drink out when I went to the Sonic yesterday. I could see all those little Sonic girls looking out the window as I pulled out...Im sure she was in there talking about him and me. He is such a cute guy and he could do so much better. I just dont understand why he dont venture out and find someone at WKU. But anyways. Other than finding that out on Friday my weekend has been fabulous. Ill write more about that in a bit though. Until next time...

Quote of the Day

WHAT IS LIFE?
Life is an Adventure ... Dare it
Life is a Beauty ... Praise it
Life is a Challenge ... Meet it
Life is a Duty ... Perform it
Life is a Love ... Enjoy it
Life is a Tragedy ... Face it
Life is a Struggle ... Fight it
Life is a Promise ... Fulfill it
Life is a Game ... Play it
Life is a Gift ... Accept it
Life is a Journey ... Complete it
Life is a Mystery ... Unfold it
Life is a Goal ... Achieve it
Life is an Opportunity ... Take it
Life is a Puzzle ... Solve it
Life is a Song ... Sing it
Life is a Sorrow ... Overcome it
Life is a Spirit ... Realize it

ThIs WeEk

Even though this week is not officially over since it is Friday, meaning the work week is over, I wanted to write this blog to tell how great of a week this has been. Considering all of the bad things that have happened lately Id have to give this week two thumbs up. On Sunday night I was determined to wake up Monday morning and start this week off on a good note and that is exactly what I have done. And even though I didnt get back together with my boyfriend this week or win the lottery, everything has been perfect. I have had no unnecessary drama in my life, I have succeeded in taking the girls' pacificers away, and I have had a good week of teaching. I dont anticipate on the weekend dropping any unexpected bombs because my weekend plans consist of staying at home and being lazy so far. I am thankful that this has been a good week and TGIF! I am definitely ready for a break from my unpaid job. It is so exhausting. Now if only I could get the girls to sleep in tomorrow...that would be fabulous. So nothing exciting on my agenda this weekend...just ready to go home...put on some comfy clothes, make some veggie soup and relax with my two favorite people and of course my BFF as always. Until next time...

Pacifiers

Well last night made night 5 of no pacifiers at bedtime and it actually went really well. What was I thinking though? I should have taken them away when I took the bottles away. It hasnt been that bad for me in the afternoons or at night but I think my grandma has been having a harder time at naptime during the day. Im hoping by the end of the weekend they will have completely forgotten about them all together. Let's just hope their father doesnt give in when he has them next weekend. Until next time...

Why?

Okay...so my question is...if you are going to go right into a relationship just like you came out of then why do it? Ughhh, that makes no sense to me. You are unbelievable. Im glad to know that you are no more happier than you were with me. Ha! Serves you right. You messed up a good thing and you will realize that, I promise you.

First Day!

Well, to start today off on a good note...my first day of teaching all of my content classes went absolutely great! I am relieved to be having a good week for once...I just hope that continues. Tomorrow is another KTIP for me so I am pretty nervous about that. It will be nice to have another one over and only 2 more to go! I cant believe how fast this semester is going by. I figured it would drag by considering Im working 40 plus hours for NOTHING! Well on a more negative note...I did not hear from him yesterday. I guess in the back of my mind I thought that maybe he would call...maybe he wouldnt want to leave things on such a bad note but guess not. Oh well...life goes on. There are definitely more fish in the sea. Maybe one day I will find my prince charming but until then I will just have enjoy the better things I have in life. Well until next time...

It is OVER!

Well it is officially over forever! There is no chance of us ever working it out. I can not believe that I let myself get involved with someone so young...what was I thinking? I could smack myself I am so mad. I really enjoyed hearing another girl on his voicemail...and then I loved finding out it was a high school girl...wow, that just really topped it off. How can he not have time to date me yet he can now go out with a high school girl from the same town as me? I guess he is tired of not being the boss so I guess this is his chance too. Man, I really thought he was different but I guess I was wrong. UGHHHH! I am feeling so many mixed emotions...I am sad and I am so mad because he could move on so fast. My question is though, did he ever care about me the way he use to say he did or was it all a lie? I wouldnt take back our relationship because up until 3 weeks ago everything was perfect but if given the opportunity I would definitely change a few things I did. I am going to stop letting myself get attached. I cant handle it. I have too much stress in my life to add to it. Well its time for me to get to work for today...Until next time...

I mIsS hIm

I miss him so much. I just dont understand why things always have to turn out this way. I mean...I know Ive thought my past relationships were always going to need up being "the one" but this last one was different. He was the most perfect guy I have ever met. There wasnt one thing Id change about him...and then he changed. He turned into a person I did not know. I wanted to try and make it work and I still would if I was given a chance but he wasnt putting anything into the relationship. There is no way a relationship can work if both partners are not making an effort to make things work. I know he got scared but why did we have to end it? I just dont understand. I cant help but think about him all the time. I miss him so much. I miss seeing him everyday. I hope maybe things will change and we will work it out but at this point I just dont know what to think. With the way things have been going lately...my luck is predicting that it wont happen but maybe that will change. As I said on myspace..."It can't rain forever." Until next time...

Drama

Oh my gosh! This town is completely full of nothing but drama. I just dont understand why people have to take things so seriously? And what is up with the girls in this town who continue to go back to those that do nothing but cheat on them? They go around...starting drama...when it all reality they are the one that is insane for going through the crap on a daily basis. I mean, when your insane enough to go get a copy of your boyfriends text messages printed out and you see all these girls phone numbers on there and you continue to want to be with your boyfriend you are completely out of your mind! There are more fish in the sea people...move on...find a new man...you will survive, trust me. I have been there...done that...and now I look back on that and I think about how stupid I was. Last night was just filled with too much drama...drama that I really had nothing to do with yet I was brought into the middle of it. After last night I have decided that I am not giving anymore relationship advice to anyone. If it does not effect me then oh well...who cares what happens. I mean, Ive got my own problems to deal with just like everyone else in the world so Im going to eliminate some of the stress in my life by not caring anymore. If I lose some friends on the way then so be it...they must not have been my true friends to start with. Well, until next time...

I love this poem!

As you hide among the shadows,
you conceal what you are,
As you break from the surface,
you can't go very far.
Your a shadow among the twilight,
you seek but you can't find,
a love that was once there,
a love that now is blind.
You once were true,
but now your lost,
as a result,
your love has cost.
Your life is broken,
cast aside,
you've lost your shadow,
you now can't hide.
All this is what you are,
no friends,
no family,
your life ajar.
I thought i knew you,
but now i see
your just a false identity.
Your broken now,
you have no home,
you lie in darkness,
all alone.
You now might say
that you are free,
but you've lost your love,
your life,
and me

My First Post

I saw this blog site on myspace and I thought to myself..."I should make one! How fun would that be!" So, here I am! Im not sure how often I will write blogs and share my crazy life with everyone but I am going to try to do it often. I live one crazy hectic life...you never know what may happen next. Well Im at Western Kentucky University today so I should probably be paying attention instead of playing on the internet. Until next time...